His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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