i think my mom watched the whole time
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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