when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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