My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize