If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize