so explain again why im purple
no
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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