If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
last night I used snow as a chaser
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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