I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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