idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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