he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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