I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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