Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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