Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize