see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
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who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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