I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize