You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize