I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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