somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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