Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize