I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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