He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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