i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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