I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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