Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize