But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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