Apparently you make a good broom.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He better not be in your backpack
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize