Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize