I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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