If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize