I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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