got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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