Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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