I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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