We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize