Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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(503): You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin." http://tfl.nu/0mfk

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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d

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(904): View more from Florida

If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it

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(904): If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it http://tfl.nu/oeec

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(206): View more from Washington

I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

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(206): I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers. http://tfl.nu/k6c6

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9

Replies (72) Good night (1804) Bad night (7831)
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(518): View more from New York

med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.

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(518): med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV. http://tfl.nu/e3eb

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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(202): Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30. http://tfl.nu/8g1h

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(786): View more from Florida

And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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(786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm

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(305): View more from Florida

woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

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(305): woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"... http://tfl.nu/ev8f

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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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(319): Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now. http://tfl.nu/g0lg

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(304): View more from West Virginia

they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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(304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb

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(810): View more from Michigan

Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.

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(810): Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down. http://tfl.nu/7v0j

Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (443)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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(336): Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text... http://tfl.nu/pmgt

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(407): View more from Florida

I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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(407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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(814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq

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