her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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