You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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