just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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