Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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