omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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