I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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