this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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