his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize