Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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