I'm eating all of the evidence.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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