So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize