well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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