Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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