I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize