I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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